The First Snow

First snowfall of the season this morning - & DAYUUMMMM it's cold outside! It might already be melting, but quite honestly I am DREADING the weather that is bound to follow. I may despise summer in Utah, but the winters here are either wet & slushy, or brutally cold & unforgiving. Either way I just wish it would snow on Thanksgiving, & over Christmas - that's IT. After that, it's alright to snow if it's on my birthday & that is if it's just a light snowfall to make this horribly ugly state pretty for a few hours for my sake. It just figures that Shaun & I would have a winter baby. Lucky bastard got to be born in March, but nooooo. I had to be born in January as well as Jaxsen, & now Ivy will either be born in November or December. Oh how I pity the winter babies. I always spend my birthday in bed with a runny nose, coughing my guts up while everybody else is still celebrating the New Year. Fingers crossed that this birthday will be different!

Well, I guess one good thing about the snowfall is that it inspired my good friend to come & see me. He wanted me to take some shots of him in the snow, & of course I am more than obliged to. Any excuse to take a few photos! So after I get myself ready, I'll be catching up with him for a bit before I spend the evening with my family (which is badly needed after the unnecessary bitterness I've had towards my Mum these past couple months). I've really enjoyed making up with her & just being able to talk with her, even though it's still hard to feel entirely comfortable. She used to be my best friend, & if things continue the way they have been going the past week, I won't be surprised if we have a relationship like that again.

It'd be nice for Ivy to see that her Mother can have a relationship with her Nanny, so that she knows it's alright to have that kind of friendship with me too. In all honesty, I want her to respect me as well as come to me when she needs a friend. I want to be able to be her best friend & her protector... & as much as I wish her Father could play some sort of part in all of this, I hope that one day if he ever walks back into our lives that he'll be able to see that I've dedicated mine to taking care of our daughter & ensuring she has the best life has to offer. Then at least he'll know that she always came first... he was just too blinded by his own guilty conscience to see it.