My Sweet Baby Girl

Thirty two weeks & one day. I can't believe how fast time flies! Not long now & I'll be the Mother of a beautiful baby girl... it's hard to imagine, but I don't think I have ever looked forward to anything else more in my entire life! Miss Ivy Rose is changing my world a little more every day, & I haven't even held her in my arms yet. I haven't even seen her perfect little face, or had the chance to sing her to sleep. I wish it was her Daddy that could be here singing to her, but that isn't a possibility at this point in time. I wish things were different... I really do. He has a lot of growing up to do before he can even begin to be a Father, or a husband. Even a friend... but he's still her Dad & she still has a right to know how much he meant to me. How much she meant to him, even if it was only for a while.

I can't wait to see what she looks like. WHO she looks like. If she'll have my eyes, or his nose... if she'll drool in her sleep like he does or if she'll concentrate with her tongue hanging out of her mouth like me. All the little things that we usually don't think about are going to become a bigger part of our lives now that there's somebody to carry on our funny little habits & physical features. She's going to be the perfect mix. I just hope that she doesn't pick up on any of our bad traits... I hope she can be strong & hold her ground when shit gets hard. I hope she'll be honest with herself as well as the people around her. I hope she'll be smart enough to learn from our mistakes... as well as her own, & more than anything I hope she never forgets how important she is to her family.

Maybe raising Ivy will be the one thing I do right in this world. Maybe I can help her build a life for herself rather than allowing her to watch her Father destroy his. Maybe she'll go far in life, or maybe she'll decide to stick close to home & start her own family. Whatever she wants to do, she'll have my full support. I'm going to do everything I can to give my baby girl the world. I want her to know how much she means to her Mum. No matter what, I'm never going to stop fighting to give her the life I always wanted, but somehow lost sight of along the way. I'll never stop fighting... because she's worth it.