It's a Rich Man's World

For some reason, the whole world just seems absolutely miserable today. I don't want to wake up or shower or go anywhere or see anybody. I'd rather just spend the day in bed. I'm tired of waking up every day never knowing when we'll have gas money, or when we'll be able to pay my doctor's bills, or if we'll ever be able to go shopping for Ivy. We can't even afford to buy our daughter a onesie. How awful is that??? I feel like such a horrible Mother right now... I know I can't help my legal situation, but I can't help but wish that I could get all these nice things for my daughter so we weren't living off of donations.

I can't afford nice clothes, or a wedding band for Shaun, or even $45 to pay for my piece of shit phone. I'm starting to lose my motivation to do anything at this point, simply because I don't see any point in it at all, & I wish every day that some good luck will come our way so that we can find work, or come across a substantial amount of money because I can't take this much longer. I don't want to live like this!!! I want to be able to drive a car, or legally be able to own one. I want to be able to get a job if I need to, or even if I just wanted to so I could bring in extra money on the side... I can't do any of these things, simply because this country is so God damn prejudice towards immigrants.

I was brought here LEGALLY as a child against my own free will & my parents aren't taking ANY responsibility for that, so how am I supposed to survive? This isn't a land of opportunity - it's a land of hypocritical dictators who obviously have forgotten that the people that founded their government & made this land free for them, WERE IMMIGRANTS!!! From the same country as ME!

Am I the only one who see's this situation as completely ridiculous, or finds the government completely off their heads? How can they honestly justify making immigration to this country almost impossible? I don't understand it... but I just want to be able to provide for myself & my child. I missed out on being a teenager, & I'll never be able to be an independent adult at this rate. I'm a dependent adult without any handicaps or disabilities, I'm perfectly able to work, there shouldn't be anything stopping me from driving, & there definitely shouldn't be anything that would stop me from being able to qualfy for food stamps or healthcare, but it's out of the question because I'm from a different country... I just don't know how to cope with this anymore.