She Deserves the Best

Although this past year has probably been the most trying time of my life, it never ceases to amaze me how much I've grown. How much I have truly learned from my own mistakes, as well as the mistakes of others. I've made so many changes for the greater good. Even though I occasionally slip up, I've learned to pick myself up, dust myself off, & take it with a grain of salt. I'm not a little girl anymore... I'm a woman, & I'm about to become a Mother. Nothing has ever motivated me to make so many changes, but I'm a much stronger person because I've learned to sacrifice what I thought mattered for someone that really does. My daughter.

Ivy is without a doubt, the greatest blessing I ever have & ever will receive. She has been the guiding light that has led me out of the darkness & into a whole new world that I never would have dreamed possible. She's given me hope when all hope seemed lost, & she's given me the courage to fight when the whole world seemed to crash & burn around me. She even brought me closer to my family, which is more than I ever could have asked for. I sincerely hope with all my heart that she can do the same for her Father. If there was ever a time he needed purpose & direction in his life, it's right here, right now.

Shaun has already made so many changes... More than I could have hoped for. At the end of the day, there will always be that longing for something more. Something he's been looking for in all the wrong places. I hope that Ivy will be the one that helps him find himself, because he's been running for far too long. He has do much to live for if he would only slow down long enough to see it. I've been lucky enough to share in some of the most incredible parts of his life, & I would hate to see him give it all up again for something completely meaningless. There's nothing I wouldn't do for that boy if only he would fight to earn it.

Maybe this time around he really will change. Maybe Ivy & I will finally mean enough to him to stay faithful, honest & hardworking. I can't hold my breath, because now more than ever I have to be strong for our daughter. I can't allow myself to hurt that much ever again. It doesn't mean I don't love him, because he knows that I do & that I always will. I just love Ivy more. She is entirely dependent on me as her Mum & I will NOT let her down. I will give everything I have to ensure that little girl'd safety, stability, & happiness. She is far too precious for me to give any less.