Restless Nights

It shouldn't be long now... I'm hardly sleeping. I'm uncomfortable & moody. My belly has dropped to the point that it rests on my legs when I sit down & I can't help but slouch from the weight of it all. Yup. She's coming.

Even Grandma's dogs can sense something is up. They'll nudge my belly with their noses or they'll stand close to me whenever I'm around them. It's a little strange to think that dogs are so instinctive about things like this, but it's sort of reassuring, knowing that I'm in good hands (or in this case, paws!). I just wish that this process was a little less unbearable. I'm so tired of being tired when I've hardly done anything at all. I would rather be tired because I've been up taking care of my daughter than be tired because she isn't here yet. It seems absolutely ridiculous, & I think everyone is starting to get a little antsy waiting for me to go into labor... With my Mum moving this weekend & Uncle T's bowling, Shaun's new job, then all this drama with Jax on top of that... It's no wonder everyone is on edge. I just wish we could schedule the delivery to make things a little easier on us all. Hell, if we get to next week with no progress, they'll strip my membranes & if we get to 41 weeks with no progress, I'll be induced. So in a way we would be scheduling it... Sort of.

I just hope she gets here before I drop dead from pointless exhaustion or heartburn. I am tired of this extreme discomfort. My emotions are off the chart, & I'm starting to forget what it feels like to function like a proper human being. You know, being able to put my own socks on & being able to sleep on my back... The stuff most everybody takes for granted. I would practically KILL to be able to sleep on my back again. Nothing has ever sounded so blissfully relaxing in my entire life. I look forward to the day when I can do it without cutting off both mine & Ivy's oxygen supply. Until then, I guess I'm stuck with a sore neck, heartburn from Hell, a severely damaged back & a bag of bowling balls for a belly. Go me!

I think one of the things I am most excited for is wearing normal clothes again... You know, jeans without the spandex, form fitting shirts, or just about anything that is somewhat flattering. I miss feeling like I look good, or being excited about a night out because I can dress up. It's been far too long, & just as soon as I get into the flow of things, I'm going to ensure that my appearance isn't neglected anymore. I need to feel good about myself in order to feel good at all, & after nine miserable months I want to use this opportunity to get in shape & get the body I've always wanted. Luckily I will have one Hell of a trainer, so I will be sure to share some of her secrets with you when I start that up. In the meantime, I do need to try to get some rest. It's almost 2:40 & I haven't slept much in weeks. Sleep is crucial at this point, so wish me luck!