Missing My Family

Every time Shaun has asked me what's wrong, I've almost felt obligated to make something up because in all honesty, I really haven't known the reason why I've been so miserable up until this point. I've finally figured it out... I miss my family. I miss my Dad, I miss my siblings, but most of all I miss my Mum.

Things have been so rough for all of us these past few weeks & with my family living an hour away, I realize that I'm not going to be able to see them every day... But I haven't really seen them at all in weeks & it's making everything so much harder to deal with. I'm not alone. I know that much. I've had Shaun & Grandma taking good care of me. However, emotionally? My family was keeping me grounded, & it's so hard to know in  which direction I'm going without somebody directing me. I realize that I'm a big girl & I'm about to be a Mother, so I really do need to stand on my own two feet, but having my Mum & Dad there for me when I fall - or even when I stumble is really important to me. ESPECIALLY with Ivy being born anytime now. Just a much as she needs her Mother, I need mine. Just in an entirely different aspect.

I can't say enough how much I am looking forward to spending Christmas with my family. Yes, I'll be spending some of it with Shaun's family too, but right now in the midst of all this chaos, I need my parents & my siblings this Holiday season. I don't want to disappoint my sisters anymore & I don't want to disappoint myself. I've been too distant for too long. It's time to step up to the plate & be the sister & daughter that my family deserves. And yes, I'm still going to slip up & make a few mistakes, but I'm not going to push them away anymore. They mean far too much to me, & I just have to say that I am so so exited to give them their gifts & celebrate Christmas with them & with my daughter. She is the best gift of all, & I can't wait to meet her!