Things Can Get Better

Sometimes I wonder how I'm still standing after everything that life has thrown at me throughout the past few years. I've been through Hell & back more than once, & yet I still find the courage to get up, dust myself off, & keep going. I don't know what got me through all of it before I had Ivy, because without her I'd have no purpose... But something pushed me to keep fighting, because even when I was struggling on my hands & knees & life was kicking me while I was down, I still got back up & fought back. I wasn't going to let a few miserable experiences determine the quality of my life.

Lately, life has thrown some things at me that I never would have dreamed that I could make it through, but somehow I'm still standing. I've still got a smile on my face, but most importantly... I've got hope. I refuse to believe that my life its always going to be doom & gloom. I refuse to believe that I'll never find somebody who could love me the way I deserve, & love my daughter just as much. Its not something I want in my life for quite some time, but I don't have to be alone forever. I don't have to fight these battles on my own. There are much better things to come, & I'm not going to let the people I've lost hold me back from living again.

Since I've made so many drastic changes in my life, I've been lucky enough to gain a few true friends. They, along with my family have really helped me keep it together & given me plenty of encouragement & motivation to get by. Especially when things seemed to be going downhill all over again. The must support I've recieved has come from the most unlikely source, & even after the Hell that they went through because of stupid decisions I had made, somehow they still have faith in me. That means more to me than anyone will ever understand.

Now that things are finally coming together, I feel like I can give Ivy a better life. She's been showered with so much love already & she has never wanted for anything, but once I've started bringing in an income on my own I will feel like she will finally have a parent who she can count on. That's all I've ever wanted for her... Stability & security. It won't be long now & I'll be able to grant her that myself.