Nothing Less than Best

Every time somebody tells me that I'll find somebody else, I want to smack them. Are you kidding me? Do I look like I'm on the prowl for some poor guy to take me & Ivy on? Well take a good look. I could care less about finding a man. This is time for me to be a Mum & focus on the relationships I already have with my friends & family. I don't need a man to make me happy, & Ivy certainly doesn't need somebody pretending to be something they're not. Ivy will no doubt grow up wanting to know her Dad, & I'm not going to hold her back from that. What happened between me & him is I'm the past, & that's exactly where I want to leave it.

I guess it's a little hard, because nobody wants to feel like they're on their own. I miss feeling wanted, but not enough to distract from the goals & standards I've set for myself. Up until Ivy was born, I was still living for myself. Sure, I made some changes but I didn't know what it meant to be responsible for the safety & happiness of another human being on such a dramatic scale. I want nothing more than to ensure my baby girl's well being, & I pray every day that I don't let her down. No parent is perfect, but I'd like to be the best I can possibly be. Ivy means everything to me, & I would give everything up all over again for her in a heartbeat.

It won't be long now until I have full independence & can support Ivy & myself without the help of family & friends. After all these years, I'll finally be able to lead a normal life. I'll be able to pay my own phone bill & buy Ivy new clothes & toys & drive to work & appointments without relying on my Mum or Nicole for a ride. Ivy will never have to grow up moving from place to place or wondering where the next meal is coming  from. I'm going to make sure  she has all of her needs met & that never knows what it's like to live in a car or on somebody's couch. I won't be that kind of parent. We are going to have a good life, because Ivy deserves nothing less than that.