Apologies

Dear friends & family,

My last post was not only out of line but extremely uncalled for & I apologize for making my emotions public. What I said was not directed to the entire family, although it seemed that way when I reread it, but was directed to one individual in particular who had never given me the time of day since day one & refuses to believe that Ivy could possibly be Shaun's daughter at all.

I know I acted irrationally by speaking out in anger & hurt, but the events that took place over Christmas really put me in a compromising position. The way me & my family were treated at the hospital was disgusting, & although we received an apology, it was not sincere, as the situation worsened just days later. I tried my best to be the person I thought everyone wanted me to be, & I tried to take their advice by "sticking to my guns" & "doing what I believe is best for Ivy" & somehow, even though Shaun had proven himself countless times to be unreliable & overall, an unfit parent, somehow he was the victim.

I don't understand how I can be told by members of his own family that not only is he an unfit parent, but that he will only ever continue to lie & steal & cheat, then turn around & run when he's confronted about it or about to get caught, but yet everything they told me, they quickly dismissed the moment Ivy was born. I had no intention of taking Ivy away from her Father, or the rest of his family. I still love them with all my heart, & although I do not have feelings for Shaun anymore, I do wish that he could have had a relationship with his daughter. Instead, I was accused of "planning to take her from the beginning" & "having no intention of ever letting her see her family". Funny thing is... If I was planning to take her from Shaun since the beginning, why would I take him back every time he turned around & left me for Sydney? That would have been the prime opportunity to take her, but I didn't. I wanted to believe that he would turn around for her, & that faith in him was thrown back in my face the moment I gave birth.

Everything I had entrusted him with, he has threatened to use against me. Everything select members of his family claimed to support me in, they now hate me for following through with. I didn't deserve the treatment I received in the hospital, & that behavior alone was enough to make me fear for my daughters well being in the hands of those individuals. If I am in the wrong for trying to protect my daughter from the Father who walked out on her for money & drugs (which he fully admitted to when I confronted him) & somebody who contributed to the loss of his son, then so be it but at least I won't have to worry about him walking out on her again. In response to a message I received from my family in England, no, I do not love Shaun. I love the daughter that we created together, but I do not love him. After a while, he became a reflection of the traits he so deeply resented in others, & I do not ever want to be with somebody like that.

I didn't take Ivy from his family because I couldn't be with him. I didn't intend to take her from them at all, until their behavior towards me & my family put me in that position. No, Ivy is NOT being raised in a polygamist community, or a polygamist family. I don't know where that came from our why I've been asked about it so many times, but that couldn't be further from the truth. My parents are divorced, & we live quite a ways from any polygamist families. I believe very strongly against that particular lifestyle & would not under any circumstances expose my daughter to it.

As for how she will be raised, I have no intention to raise her with hatred or anger towards her Father our any other members of his family. I have seen to it that her needs have been well met, & that she does not want for anything. I am not a perfect Mother. Nobody is, & I am not pretending to be... But nothing means more to me than my precious baby girl & I intend to give her the best this life has to offer. We are lucky enough to have the support of some incredible people, & have recieved plenty of help & support during my pregnancy which I am more than grateful for. I wish things had happened differently, but in the end we cannot change the past. We can only live with our mistakes & do or best to learn from them to ensure a brighter future. I wish the best to Shaun & his family & thank them for the love & support I recieved in the past. It made the world of difference.

Sincerely,

Leah

P.S.
I do not have any intention of responding to any hate mail directed towards Shaun or his family, so if you have anything negative to say about them, keep it to yourself. I am simply stating my understanding of the events that have taken place, & if there have been any misunderstandings, I apologize. This blog is simply a glorified journal, based on the events in my life & how I see them. If you don't understand something or have heard differently, there are always two sides to every story, but I have no intention of entertaining any negativity from any outside sources. Thank you.