I'm Not Going to Change. I'm Going to GROW.

You never really know who you at until you lose yourself in someone else... At least, that was the case for me. I think when you're in a relationship, you try so hard to be what you think your partner wants that you forget what it was about you that they feel for in the gust place. Maybe that's why so many relationships end so quickly. Hell, maybe that's part of the reason they end so badly. You can't try to change who you are for somebody & then wonder why they themselves have changed.

Some people are made for each other, but those people are usually the ones who already know who they are & refuse to settle. The failed relationships are the ones that one individual invests too much of themselves in, which in turn causes the other person to stop investing altogether. Why should you continue to invest itself in something you didn't sign up for? If you're going to be with somebody, you want to be reassured that whatever it was that had you sold from day one isn't going to fade with time.

One of my biggest weaknesses is that I either settle for less than I deserve or I lose myself in a poor attempt to be what I think they want me to be. I need to remember who I am & what exactly it was about me that made them fall for me in the first place... Its okay to grow with time, but that didn't mean that I have to change who I am. I won't do that for anyone, no matter how much I care for them. I've lost who I am so many times that I'm struggling to find myself again, & no matter what anyone says, losing yourself because you love somebody just isn't worth it. I can never be the same person I was when I met Mark, or Cameron or Shaun. There are qualities they have all brought out in me, & qualities I lost because I wanted to be what they wanted. I forgot that if I wasn't what they wanted, they wouldn't have been with me in the first place. Now at least I recognize that, & I'm determined to find myself again... But not for them, or any other man. I want to find myself for me. I want to be proud of who I am. I'm not settling, & I'm not changing for anybody.