Tell Me, Do You Really Love Me?

I have to be okay. Everything's the way it should be... so why am I still miserable? When he's around I'm so much happier, & then I remember how I fucked up & it hurts knowing that things can't be exactly the way they were before. 

I have the chance to make things right again. I'm doing everything I can, so how do we move forward? When Shaun's in my life, it feels like the best part of me comes alive again & I am so deliriously happy that the rest of the world seems to disappear. I want it to be that way every minute of every single day for the rest of our lives, but nothing seems to last forever. 

Remembering the way things began... when he not only climbed over my walls, took down my defenses, & found his way into my heart, but stole it as well. That's what captivated me. He did the impossible. I loved that about him. Nothing was a challenge when it came to me. He fought for my heart & soul & now he has them. He's been my inspiration for so long. My hero. He was still strong when everything was crashing down around him, & I can only hope that one day I can be as strong as he is.

I might be in control of my life, but I willingly handed him the keys to the one thing that guided me. That was my decision, & probably one of the smartest ones I ever made. Until he came into my life I had no control. I was a mess. The classic tragedy. Now I've cut all the bullshit. All of the lies... I'm finally strong enough to move forward on my own. I just hope that he'll come along for the ride.