Hello August

I've got to stay positive... even when everything is going wrong, & everything I was counting on has fallen through, I can't let it get to me. My stress affects the baby, & I can't stand the thought of that. I just wish that once in a while, something would work out in our favor. I'm tired of being taken advantage of, screwed over, disappointed, & exhausted from all our hard work that in the end just seems like a waste of precious time. Why does this have to happen to us? We're the ones working hard, trying to earn money to provide for our baby girl & instead the ones who don't really need it or even want it are getting all the work.

 

I realize that it does take working full time to find a full time job, but Shaun's filled out hundreds of applications. He's walked miles & miles & applied at every single business along the way. He's called back on every one that he could remember, & even then he hasn't been able to land a single job. I don't see why... we need it so badly right now. We need a real home & our own transportation & we don't even qualify for Medicaid. Just because of my legal status. I don't know what else we can do at this point. All I know is that I have to fight really hard every day to stop myself from breaking down. It's all just too much to handle.

 At least we have friends looking for loopholes to try & get us the medical assistance we need for myself & Ivy. I don't think we could have gotten this far without Kim & my parents going above & beyond for us. I just wish that I had my Green card so this wasn't so complicated. So that I could actually work & contribute to our little family's needs, rather than sitting back & watching Shaun do all the hard work. 

Well, it's a new day, it's the first day of August, & it's a chance to start fresh. Hopefully Shaun can get his old job back at Harmons, so that he'll have another job once he starts working with Aaron. If he's working two jobs we can get into a place a lot sooner & that will be a huge weight off our backs. In the meantime, I'm just going to be supportive & try to keep it together. For all of our sakes.