It seems like no matter what I do, or how hard I try, I'm just making things worse. I want to be the best I can be for Shaun but I'm struggling to be happy with myself as it is. I feel like I've been letting myself down & in turn, I'm letting him down. Maybe it's not entirely my fault, but I can't make someone happy if I'm miserable. I'm just fucking everything up between us & it's killing me. I can't help wondering if we'd be better off if I gave him some space & let him do his own thing for a while, but at the same time we're on a huge time crunch here... Ivy's going to be born in less than three months & we're both still unemployed & struggling to take care of ourselves. How are we supposed to take care of a newborn?
I just want to give up on everything... I know I can't, but I don't know what else to do. It just seems so pointless to try anymore. We just work hard & get let down with every little thing we do. It isn't fair & it only makes it that much harder to try again. I fucking hate everything about our situation... I just wish we'd get one tiny dose of good luck. At least enough to make Shaun happy, because I'm incapable of doing that anymore. He needs something to give him faith in himself, & I'm not helping...
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