She's So Lovely

 I don't think I've ever wanted a girl this badly before. She drives me crazy, in the best sense of the word. I can't get her off my mind, & I can't stop smiling whenever I'm around her. She's everything I've ever wanted. She's my type, times ten. Red hair, wild personality, sexually open & isn't afraid to show you exactly what she wants. I don't care what it takes. I want to make her my baby girl.

I feel like I can really be myself when she's around. She knows who I am & she accepts it. Maybe it's because we're the same in a lot of ways, but whatever it is... I look forward to every minute I get to spend with her. I haven't been this happy with another girl in a long long time, if ever.

 I don't know how we'll make it through this... we both fell in love with the same boy with blue eyes & freckles & if he hadn't hurt us both, we'd probably be at each others throats. We both feel the need to have a man & a woman in our lives at this point, & shit is beyond complicated. I'm not entirely sure what move to make, but I know it's not a decision I can really make on my own. Taylor has to choose too...

I'm hoping that we both make the right decision, & hopefully it'll lead to us both being happy. I know I'll be happy if I'm with her, but happiness isn't based on condition & I need to learn to make myself happy as well as everyone else. I do want to make Taylor happy, & hopefully she feels the same way about me. But we'll see what happens. For now, we're just going to take it a day at a time & hope that it leads to something beautiful.