Sneak Peek from Our Shoot!

Here's a quick peek at our Mother/daughter shoot with Josh Wees tonight at the American Fork Amphitheater. Ivy was such a doll! I can't wait to see the rest so I can share them with all of you!

Today I'm Grateful For...

I never really imagined that I would be a single parent one day. Hell, I'm not sure I ever thought about being a parent in the first place, but life has a way of surprising you like that. I guess I had always hoped that if in fact I became a Mother someday, that there would be a Father in the picture... but that's not exactly how it happened. To be perfectly honest, it's been a challenge raising Ivy on my own so far. The late nights, the days in a row without sleep, the constant feeding & changing... the lack of social interaction, the lack of freedom. It's been really hard for me, but not as hard as I thought it would be. Ivy always made it worth it.

I can't tell you enough how much she has helped me to change for the better. Every smile & every milestone that she reaches pushes me to better myself in ways I never would have considered before now. I don't regret getting pregnant at eighteen. I don't regret who the Father was, because I wouldn't have my Ivy... I'd just have some other baby, & it wouldn't be the same. I don't regret what we had, because it gave me the most beautiful thing I have ever seen, & I wouldn't trade that for the world. Given the chance, I wouldn't do it differently. It's what made me the person I am today, & even though being a single parent is a struggle, it's the most rewarding experience anyone could possibly have.

Today, I'm grateful to be the single Mother of my beautiful Ivy Rose.

Bath Time for Princess

We're Young

It hurts too much, I'm looking for a crutch. Just any boy just for a touch... I let my angst out, I let myself go... & when I let myself down, I swag it out. Baby boy, I'd like to dance. I'm just looking for a brief romance. What's wrong with that? I'm young, forgive me. I'll live fast, die a legend. Oh... forgive us for what we have done. We're young, we're young, we're young. Forgive us, we're young. We're young...

True art exists only through suffering. Pain is what we relate to... it's what shapes us, grows us, & teaches us. Without pain, we would never know happiness or love. Before we can become flowers, we must first go through a whole lot of dirt. Before we can spread our wings & fly, we must bear the burden of being a slimy caterpillar. We will always feel pain throughout our lives, but it's up to us whether or not we create something beautiful from it.

I've Got This!

I'm not as disciplined as you might think... I love food. Food is my vice. I'll eat my feelings, I'll eat out of boredom... I'll eat for the sake of eating, & it's a horrible habit that I have had to break over the past couple weeks, so to prevent insanity, I allow myself one cheat meal a week... as long as I still eat the right portion sizes & on the condition that I burn off whatever I take into my body, which means I have one Hell of a run ahead of me tonight! It'll be a great burn though, & it'll wake me up so I can focus on getting my homework done. I've been procrastinating WAY too much, & with it being due on the 29th, I absolutely have to finish it. There are no more excuses!

Life as a single Mum is hard. Especially when you're trying to stay fit, eat right, get through school, & take care of a little person all at the same time. Want to know my secret? I remind myself that nothing worth having comes easy. I repeat it to myself under my breath as I run, or while I struggle to keep up with my exercise video. I have to tell myself that when Ivy is fussing & I'm trying to focus on my homework. It's rough sometimes, but there will always be somebody busier than me making the time to get things done, so why can't I? I'm up before seven every single day, & my daughter is in bed before nine at night. I'm pretty damn positive that I can make time to exercise. I'm sure I could get through college if I really wanted to. I can't let time pass me by without accomplishing SOMETHING.

I've set my goals, & I WILL accomplish them. No matter how much I sweat, bleed, or cry. If I'm not dead, I have no reason to give up. I've got this shit!

Motivational Quote of the Day

When you get into a tight place and everything goes against you, till it seems as though you could not hold on a minute longer, never give up then, for that is just the place and time that the tide will turn.
- Harriet Beecher Stowe