I honestly thought he'd leave again. I had lost all faith in myself & in everyone else around me that I was scared to believe that he'd still be there. But here he is, laying out in the truck waiting patiently for me while I let it all out on this ridiculously slow library computer. After my last pregnancy, I was terrified that another one would tear us apart, but it's made us even stronger. I had never expected any good to come out of an unplanned pregnancy, but the thought of having a teeny tiny baby Shaun or baby Lea has brought us a lot closer together. I'm so so grateful that I have somebody so incredible taking care of me & working alongside me to make a better future for ourselves & our little Gremlin... yes, we refer to it as the Gremlin. Don't judge.
Things might be almost unbearable right now... & it might be hard to keep it together, but he's doing an incredible job of keeping me from falling apart. He makes me smile, even when I can't stop the tears from drenching my face & he makes me laugh when I feel like punching holes in walls. He's the best friend anyone could ever ask for, & I'm lucky enough to have him in my life as something even more than that. He's my lover, my boyfriend, & the father of my child. I couldn't ask for a better friend than Shaun.
With him in my life again, I finally feel like I can look to the future again. It doesn't scare me as much anymore... we can make plans & look into getting our own place & actually imagine something better than this. Somewhere far away from here. We can make a new life for ourselves, & I can honestly say, that is something worth fighting for. My best friend & our baby... they're worth fighting for. They're my everything, & I couldn't imagine real happiness without them. This is what my life was meant to be, & I owe it all to him.
