Nothing Worth Having Comes Easy

Love, You Beautiful Bastard

I can honestly say that I have never felt more alive than I have in the past two & a half months. I've done some things that I regret & lost some friends that meant the world to me, but I am genuinely happy to be alive & belong to somebody that even after everything that happened between us, still believes that we're a hopeless cause worth fighting for... that our daughter deserves to have a real family, even if it is pretty damn dysfunctional. I couldn't be more proud of all the changes Shaun has made, & I feel lucky knowing that he made them for Ivy & I.

So here we are, at the beginning of a new chapter. It's been a wild ride, but it's been well worth it. I have the love of my life, we have our beautiful daughter, & every morning I can wake up knowing that despite every trial I've faced, every friend & family member that I've lost, & every time I've felt like giving up, I have something worth fighting for. Love.

My Angel & Me - More Family Photos

Life & I? Yeah, We're Best Buds

I'm just going to start this post off by telling you that I feel REALLY good about life right now! It's as if something awakened in me this morning that opened my eyes to a world of opportunities that I have absolutely NO intention of passing up. I'm totally rocking life as a single Mum, & even though it's a struggle sometimes, I always come out on top, stronger than ever. Ivy is by far, my greatest blessing & I have no intention of taking that for granted. Life is short, but I'm still young & I've got a lot of fight left in me. Despite what the ghosts of my past might think, I'm ready for whatever life has to throw at me.

No more games. I might be young, but that doesn't mean I should be wasting my time. I have SO much potential, so why not put it to use? Time to study harder, get my business cards printed, sweat more, & prove to myself & the world that I'm so much more than the British plig kid who got knocked up at eighteen. I don't care who tries to bring me down. I'll be so busy making something of myself that I won't have time for their bullshit comments. I've got some pretty incredible people in my life, & they are behind me one hundred percent of the way. There is no finish line, so love the journey.

Sneak Peek from Our Shoot!

Here's a quick peek at our Mother/daughter shoot with Josh Wees tonight at the American Fork Amphitheater. Ivy was such a doll! I can't wait to see the rest so I can share them with all of you!

Today I'm Grateful For...

I never really imagined that I would be a single parent one day. Hell, I'm not sure I ever thought about being a parent in the first place, but life has a way of surprising you like that. I guess I had always hoped that if in fact I became a Mother someday, that there would be a Father in the picture... but that's not exactly how it happened. To be perfectly honest, it's been a challenge raising Ivy on my own so far. The late nights, the days in a row without sleep, the constant feeding & changing... the lack of social interaction, the lack of freedom. It's been really hard for me, but not as hard as I thought it would be. Ivy always made it worth it.

I can't tell you enough how much she has helped me to change for the better. Every smile & every milestone that she reaches pushes me to better myself in ways I never would have considered before now. I don't regret getting pregnant at eighteen. I don't regret who the Father was, because I wouldn't have my Ivy... I'd just have some other baby, & it wouldn't be the same. I don't regret what we had, because it gave me the most beautiful thing I have ever seen, & I wouldn't trade that for the world. Given the chance, I wouldn't do it differently. It's what made me the person I am today, & even though being a single parent is a struggle, it's the most rewarding experience anyone could possibly have.

Today, I'm grateful to be the single Mother of my beautiful Ivy Rose.